10 ways to be a douche…

10 ways to be a douche when a new movie comes out based on a book/novel/comic.

10. Ask in YouTube comments for the name of the song in the latest trailer. By they way, does anyone know the song that plays at the beginning of the new Douchebag: The Movie trailer? That movie looks awesome… Douche.

9. Swear your undying allegiance to the original book/novel/comic, then admit you read it for the first time within the last week. You look like a douche.

8. Read it for the first time within the last week then comment, as the all-knowing expert, on how the movie MUST be made. You look like Baron von Douche (pronounced Doo-shay)

7. Read it for the first time within the last week then comment, as the all-knowing expert, on how the movie WILL suck. You look like Lord Douche (pronouced like it is, you douche).

6. Claim that anyone who goes to see the movie is not a [true] fan of the original work.

5. Claim that any adaptations of the story that the general audience can understand are just part of Hollywood’s conspiracy to use known characters to make a buck.

This particular idea really bothers me, because for it to be logical, it means that people who do not know the original work, will want to go spend there money because this is a known story. Obviously, no one ever goes to a movie because they just enjoy movies.

4. Give your negative impressions, or responses to negative impressions, about the movie using various capital letters and random expletives. (IF YOU DO THIS YOU ARE A F*&%ING DOUCHE!)

3. Write a comment/post inciting the expectation that ANYONE related to the production of the movie will actually read it and address your whining. We don’t care you’re a douche. They don’t care you’re a douche.

2. Respond to any random, closed minded comment about the movie demanding people not judge the movie before it comes out.

1. Judging the movie before it comes out.

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